Ho ho ho....Oh Oh Oh.........

Man that was a looooooong day yesterday! The kids advent was to go to the Mall and get into the spirit by looking at the Christmas lights and listening to the music and so on. Hmmm. On the last Saturday before Christmas??!?! WHAT WAS I THINKING??!! Also the temp barely hit 6 before it plummeted to minus 6 with a -20 windchill. Awesome. PLUS it snowed in the morning and the roads were hell. Oooh Faboooo.

Nevertheless I ploughed on. I took the kids and Garry to the mall for a while and we met Daddy there. We traded vehicles, he took the kids home in the van and Garry and I set out for a mammoth shopping event. Ugh. I don't really like shopping, in fact if I could avoid a shopping mall for the rest of my life, I'd gladly do it! I don't like buying clothes, don't like buying shoes, don't like purses.... I know. How can I call myself a woman?!?! I DO like Garry though, so plodded happily through the stores convincing her not to buy THIS and did she need THAT....!!!I came home at 10 pm...yes, we'd been out LITERALLY 12 hours.... with a $4 hair band. No kidding. I still have to go back out now to buy some things for Garry that I couldn't get as she was with me the whole time. * sigh * The joy of Christmas is wearing thin for me now. I'm sad to say it but it happens to me most years. The bubble bursts and I see Christmas for what it has become... a mad dash to the finish, to be the one to buy the most presents for people, Quick Quick, Hurry Hurry, let's snatch up this thing, it will do for so and so..... it's like the stores will stop trading on Christmas Day and you will Never Be Able To Buy ANYTHING Again..... EVERY YEAR I fall in to the trap of spending too much on too little, or rather on too little of significance and too much junk. I haven't given a moment's thought to Christmas Dinner only to dread it. I despise having to cook dinner on Christmas day... it's hell for me. I would gladly order in or eat out..... I'm a terrible mother and wife at Christmas time... I don't have the Christmas Chromosome I guess. I think I do... I dress up my house like I do.... I love the idea of Christmas... the log fires, the mince pies, the Christmas Cake.. I love giving gifts to the children...I hate finding the perfect gift for my husband and my Mum.... They always manage to get lovely things for me and I feel such GUILT that I don't take the time or have the imagination to find the perfect thing for them. I don't have a moment to myself this time of year, it's exhausting. I haven't wrapped anything of any consequence yet... I still have loads to do...... HELP MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

*** deep sigh ***

I need to get back to the basics a little here. I need to take my vitamins, double up my progesterone, go back to bed with a cup of tea and a good book. Later I will make a list of what's important and what's not...and I'll try and focus on the important things....

Something that is over my head at the moment is the bills.... UGH! I dread them this time of year. Everytime we find something "perfect" for someone it's more money out the bank. I'm not averse to spending money on people and I love to get them something they love, but if I'm spending money, LOTS of money, and it's not even a great gift, just "Something" to give someone.... it makes me nuts. It really does.


Bah. And Humbug.

Where's that Hot Buttered Rum!!???........