Saturday, January 5

AP Moment of the day ~ I'm not sure there was one..!!

Not my best day today. Rex and I started out on the wrong foot and it sort of went down hill from there. It was a wiggly line, not an all out dive, but still.. it wasn't pretty that's for sure. Jack seemed determined to drive me crazy and he ended up spending more time in his room than out of it. I give him the option of doing whatever it is ( or NOT doing what ever it is, such as "Either STOP throwing apple sauce at the wall or go to your room for a while until you can be nice !! " ) Anyway, what with beating up his sister, throwing a basket at her head after emptying out all the library books out of it first ( and I suppose we should be grateful for that!!) and after hauling all the couch cushions onto the deck where they got soaked ( in remarkably short order I must say!) by the melting snow... I was at the end of my ( rather short and frayed at the best of times ) rope. I did far too much yelling and he spent far too much time on his bed waiting for the beast in me to subside I suspect. I did ask him to strip his bed for me since he was in the room anyway, and he did an awesome job of that, especially once I'd shown him how to get the pillows out from the pillow cases..... but I digress...... He has been an absolute nightmare and I have not helped one iota. Yelling doesn't help. Well, sadly it DOES, at least in the short term, which is why people do it, but in the long term it's a fool's game. There's only so loud you can be!!! As it is I KNOW the neighbors can hear us.... I was outside one day getting the mail and was MORTIFIED to hear one of the kids COUGHING from inside the house. Ahem. A cough. A COUGH!!?!?! Imagine how the neighbors must feel when they hear me screaming and yelling at my children. *** hangs head *** I really REALLY want to stop this downward spiral. I've just started reading another book Parents Please Don't Sit On Your Kids
and I'm hoping against hope that this will be the book to turn me around.

If this doesn't work I'm going to have to look into some SERIOUS meds.....

Friday, January 4

AP Moment of the day ~ And now my son hates me


First Jessie thinks I'm mean for taking down the trees and today Jack told me "I HAY~KA YOU" : ( Talk about heartbreaking. Eh, the little bugger. He hates me because I told him he couldn't throw glasses across the room and really shouldn't be hitting his sister and we do wish he would kindly refrain from jumping off the couch onto the dog and it would be awfully nice if he wouldn't whine quite so much and no, he can't have any more ice cream for dinner.

** sigh **

I don't know what's up with the short one at the moment. He's maybe growing or something, but he sure is moody lately. Jessie has her moments of grumpiness too... it's sad to see. I remember when they were both such happy little mites!! I'm pretty sure they are both lacking attention from me. I think they could both stand a lot more one on one time. I'll try and make it more of a priority over the next few weeks and will see if I notice an improvement in their moods. I know a lack of outdoor activity bothers them too. They love going for walks and we did manage to get a nice long one in today. Once the weather warms up as it is supposed to do over the next few days, we'll try and get out more too.. I'm sure that will help them.

Meanwhile I have a little man who is very sad. He struggles with his communication but he manages to get his point across most of the time. Tonight he was worried that Mommy was "mad"... : ( I yell too much, I know that. He is naughty too much! I know that too! He is a very strong little boy with a tendency to kick, slap and throw things when he is over tired, stressed or hungry. He doesn't intend to hurt people I don't think, he just lashes out. This is very frustrating for everyone around him. We don't like to be hurt and we don't like things broken because he is throwing them. Sadly our most frequent reaction is to yell. Sure, we know better. Sure, once in a while the planets will align, I will be in a relaxed frame of mind, it won't be late in the evening and no one will be tired. I will remember the tools I have read about in my various parenting books, and I will be able to calmly, patiently and almost magically diffuse the situation to the satisfaction of all parties concerned. Most of the time however, it's yelling that does the trick. The kids are scared, the dog runs and hides, the rats cower in their cage and everyone in the house is disturbed and distressed. Yep. My proudest moments.
**hangs head** There is no one to blame here but myself. My kids don't deserve to be yelled at. They are human beings and they are trying to negotiate childhood. I need to respect that and try and deal with them in a calm and appropriate manner. How easy this all seems in retrospect when they are sleeping like angels in their cozy bed rather than running around yelling, leaping off the furniture, bossing, arguing and being difficult to be around!

It's very hard to be an adult surrounded by children. It doesn't take long before you sink to their level and far from being a calm island in the storm you find yourself tossed at sea with the other sinking ships, yelling to the distant shore as you drift farther and father out on the current.

Where did my sanity go and will I ever get it back?!

Thursday, January 3

AP Moment of the day~ My Daughter thinks I'm MEAN!

Today was take~down~the~Christmas~trees day and you'd think I had gone around snipping toes off small girls the way she was carrying on!! I know how she feels though. I used to HATE when we took down the Christmas tree... all that joy and happiness GONE!! for a whole YEAR!!!! They are always so pretty and colorful and they smell so good!! But, nope, today was the day and DOWN they came. Stripped of their pretty baubles and sentimental decorations. The beautiful lights were ripped from their limbs and the trees themselves were hauled out into the cold and unceremoniously they were tossed from the deck onto the driveway below soon to be hauled out to the park where they wait in a big, post~Christmas pile to be taken, by the city, to the giant chipper!! ( I can't think of the word "Chipper" without thinking of the Friends episode where Phoebe sees all the manky trees and is told they go to the Chipper. She says "Why do I think that's not as happy as it sounds?!?!" )

These days I'm usually well ready to get the trees out and to have the house back to normal. Christmas usually drags on for too long and I am well pleased to be done with it by January. This year it seemed to go particularly fast, I don't know why, so even I had a little twinge of regret when it came time to take them down. I packed up the ornaments back into their boxes and got a flash of remembering. Every year, when I box them all back up, I wonder where we will be and what will be happening when I get them back out again. It's New Year's Eve all over again and I am struck at how shockingly fast a year goes. I remember packing them all up last January and wondering then at where our lives were going to lead us.

Where ever we are this time next year, I hope Jessie will have forgiven me by then! :D

Wednesday, January 2

AP Moment of the day ~ The Best laid plans....

...of Rats and Mommas.... or something like that...!!!

Today was spent mostly in clean up mode....again....!!! The kids were sent to have baths, the house was vacuumed ( even under the couch cushions... you could have made a new dog with all the hair there was under there...!) the place spiffy and spruced up, for Company was coming!! :D I'd already put on my make up and done my hair first thing this morning as it's usually the last thing I do before people arrive and I inevitably put it off until the very last moment and you can bet I will hear the doorbell chime as I'm halfway through makeup application and my hair is still in curlers. As such folks must think I choose to wear makeup only on one side of my face!! This time, it must be the New Year working it's charms, I decided that I would be ready in the morning, so that if necessary all I'd have to do before they arrive is touch up my makeup and hair, rather than have to do a full on makeover!! So, I was made up, the house cleaned, the pizzas ordered early so I would not forget to do it. My sink was shiny, the cushions plumped... I'd even begun to put away some of the Christmas decorations!!! At 3:30, as I was cleaning the kitchen floor, the phone rang..... our Company was sick. They would not be coming after all. : ( Don't you HATE when that happens. I was ready to be all upset and stompy when it occurred to me..... wait a minute!!!! The house is spotless! The children are clean! I am wearing MAKE UP and my hair is fancy!!! The Pizza is already ordered......!!!! We actually had a state of almost perfection here and I was about to be annoyed about it!?!?! :D It couldn't be better!!! Hubster picked up the pizza on the way home and we were able to enjoy a tasty meal in a clean house and even had time to play some games with the children before bed!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!! It's lovely when your plans can change and you end up having a better time than you even thought you would!!!

Maybe I can invite someone to not come over next week!! :D

Tuesday, January 1

AP Moment of the day ~ The games people play..

Well... I must have played I don't know HOW many board games today! :D Jack and I played Ants in the Pants, Jessie, Jack and I played Cookin' Cookies and Trouble, Jessie and I played Happily Ever After ( a card game... ) and Uno and Jessie, Jack and I played Uno again after dinner. They also both played computer games at PBS Kids online and they really did have a great time with them. They both really enjoy Word Girl games and even I think they are fun. Jack also likes to play Curious George games online too. After lunch Jessie and Jack played at being chefs with the play food. They made soup, spaghetti, eggs, you name it! Jack's speciality is "Wewwy Hot Chewwy Pie" which you are warned to "Fwow on" and Jessie concocted a stove under the chairs and heated up a nice big turkey.......!!! Sounds like fun, but when you think about it, kids learn so much through playing games. Today they have learned color recognition, number recognition, physics (force) geometry (direction), computer skills, turn taking, die recognition, counting, skip counting, multiplication, sequencing and good sportsmanship, not to mention how much good imaginative play does for brain development, how playing with your brother builds upon bonding skills. For Jack, playing with Jessie increases his vocabulary and communication skills and Jessie in turn gets to practice patience, compassion and understanding (sometimes!)

So next time they ask me to play with them and I am tempted to come up with any excuse on earth to avoid it, I'm going to do what I did today, sit down, smile, and see what they can learn without even trying!

Happy New Year !!

Tonight was a lovely evening!! Our friend who was also our Doula for the birth of both of our children, came over with her hubby and we all played games and nibbled and sipped until midnight! :D It was a lovely evening. Jessie begged to stay up and was thrilled with herself for making it until midnight.... but only minutes later she fell fast asleep! :D Bless her. I was thinking of what it was like to be 8. She really wanted to play games with us but we had only 4 person games. We just wanted to play games as adults and had bargained on the children going to bed before midnight but she so desperately wanted to be involved and I tried very hard to involve her and make her feel part of the whole experience. It's so important for her to feel a part of things, rather than apart from things.... I wanted her to realise that I am so very happy she is here to spend New Years Eve with us and even if it's not as "convenient" for me and our friends, to have her up with us, it's very important to all of us that she feels welcome and special on this special night.

I love New Year's Eve. It's a day and night with such hope and promise... the year stretches out untarnished and ready to be experienced. I wonder where we will all be this time next year??

Watch this space! :D ....................