Tuesday, November 13

AP moment of the day~Co-sleeping.... this can't be what they mean?!!

When my first born was an infant she slept in a little bassinet right beside the bed. Sometimes, in an effort to combine nighttime nursing with sometime sleep, she would sleep in bed with us. No problem! She was a tiny, sweet little thing and we all slept rather well. As she got a little older she moved into a crib in our bedroom and then, when we could bear it, we moved her into the adorable nursery we had made for her... of course, she was 17 by then and wanted the pattern on the border changed.... ( !!! Just kidding !!! ) ... anyway, she moved into her own room and was always very happy to go to sleep alone and slept soundly, all night long! When our second child was born he, too, slept in the tiny bassinet (except this time it was lined with BOY fabric!!) alongside the bed. Sometimes he would sleep in the bed with us, and again, it was no issue, he was a tiny, sweet little snoring thing.

Fast Forward to today... or rather, to last night. In the interest of full and complete disclosure I should point out that my husband and I share a King Sized bed. It ain't small. However, he ain't small either and we both tend to sleep spread out with arms akimbo so we use the space!!! My son, now no longer a tiny little infant boy, seems to have developed an aversion to sleeping through the night. ** shrugs ** don't know why.... WISH I DID...... sigh... anyway ......he woke up last night and I went in ( LOL!! I like the way I wrote "I went in" as if I just hopped up and tiptoed softly and kindly to his room to enquire as to his well being..... rather as it was, I tugged my eyelids open and heaved my exhausted self over the side of the bed. I stumbled, groggily, to my bedroom door and swayed in front of it momentarily, waving my arms before me ... this from one too many times of walking smack into the edge of the door and knocking myself half unconscious....I then weaved my way down the pitch dark hallway, swinging my arms around my circumference to prevent me walking into the walls.... honestly, my husband must think I'm some sort of pinball the way I careen down the hallways, bouncing from door frame to wall and back again. anyway, as usual, I have digressed.... ) ... I went in and asked, very gently and kindly if all was well in his world...! I did!! It went like this ....."WHAT???!?!" He mutters.. "A mammy's bed...??" I, in my AP parenting manner considered for a moment ( I most certainly did not just snap "NO" ... it was a much softer, gentler no... like this..."erm NO!" !!! ) I demurred and declined his invitation to join us in our marital bed instead I patted his soft sheets and made yummy sounds as to their warmth and comfort level. "A MAMMA BED!!!!" he insisted in a slightly elevated voice which served to warn me that he could, and most likely WOULD get louder if pressed! His sister was sleeping in the bunk above, so I hastened to get him out of her earshot lest I have TWO children wandering the hallways in the middle of the night.

I always find that once I have raised myself into the vertical position during the night I inevitably have to pee.... as I tend to go straight to the children rather then the bathroom I frequently find myself trying to comfort said child whilst squeezing my legs together and jiggling up and down ... the call of nature almost always wins out and I burst from the bedroom, avoiding the door jamb if possible and thunder to bathroom post haste ... generally which ever child has called me refuses to be left in the bedroom awake and alone so will stumble along behind me... so here it is, the middle of the night, I'm in the bathroom... my son is in the bathroom... I go to the door to leave and ""AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" a shadowy ghostlike figure is hovering behind the door!!! I stifle my screams as best I can but not before I hear "UGH!??! EH?!!! What the..?!!?" from our bedroom next door. "What are you doing up?!?! " I hiss at said shadowy figure who appears to be my daughter. " I thought I heard you say you were going downstairs" she meekly responds, clutching her stiff black Owl mounted on a small piece of 2x4 ( I can feel myself wanting to digress again, but I promise instead I WILL return to the Owl in a later post... it's hilarious!) "Well I'm NOT...I'm taking your brother back to his BED"... and I begin to march, arms our thusly, back to the kids room in an I'm~not~kidding~you'd~better~start~moving manner. I began to suspect they weren't following and, groping my way back down the hallway and failing to connect with any small bodies or heads, my suspicions were confirmed. The buggers had usurped my bed!!!! I dashed in to find them already snuggled down under the still warm covers and making efforts to appear as if already fast asleep. I shoved them over as best I could and wrapped myself in the meagre remains of the blankets whilst hanging on to the side of the bed lest I should tumble out should anyone roll over at the behest of the "Little One" who was now occupying prime position AND had hogged my favorite "Memory Foam" pillow. ( it's just a travel sized one as MAN, those things are PRICEY, but I DO love it so and now that little turkey is laying all over it.....) It's quite clear that as the night wears on I am going to be kicked black and blue by The Boy. He loves to kick me in the place you would last choose to be kicked. Should there be some occasion where you are held captive and the villain says "Bwahahahahahahaaaa where would you choose to be kicked?!!!" ... you would choose many other places before you chose this place. Ahem. So .... here we are... hubby is miraculously sleeping the sleep of the dead, the kids are sprawled over my half of the bed and I am hanging grimly on. I know this will not work. I am NOT a happy camper when sleep deprived. Sighing, as I do, I once more hauled my bones out of bed and, once again, arms thrust out in front of me, I bounced my way back down the hall and into the kids room. I have wisely placed a hooked rug beside their bed so that on approach, in the dark, my toes feel it and I prevent myself from hammering my shins into the bedside.. I have yet to come up with some glow in the dark stuff to stick on the bottom of the top bunk to save my head (OUCH!) or the ladder either (BUGGER!!) I crawl, battered and bruised, into the boy's bed, drag his (not goose down ) quilt over my chilly arms, lay my head down onto his ( not memory foam ) pillow and fall, mercifully, to sleep.

Co~Sleeping?!?! It's not for the faint of heart I'll tell ya!!

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