I had an epiphany this morning, which seemed appropriate though a couple of days early!! Anyway, I lay in bed, listening to the kids squabbling, again, and cursing them under my breath. WHY can they not just get along in the morning??? WHY do they not just get up, get dressed, quietly skip down to breakfast and sort themselves out whilst keeping quiet so their long suffering parents can sleep in on the weekends?? WHY?? WHY??? Why? ( and this is where the epiphany comes in ) Because they are children. Because it is NOT Jessie's JOB to get Jack up and dressed and ready for the day. It is NOT Jessie's job to take care of him, to worry about him, to make sure he eats so he is not CRAZY in the morning. It. Is. MY. Job. Raising Jack is really hard work. Really Really. Sometimes it's easier than others, but it's still hard work. He can be stubborn, he's immensely strong and he will fight like the dickens with Jessie. Because Jack IS such hard work I have tended to avoid dealing with him whenever possible. I hadn't done it intentionally, but I grew aware this morning that I have been pushing more and more responsibility away from myself and onto Jessie. The poor girl. She is such a sweetheart towards him. Sure, she gets fed up with him but he will sit on her, throw things at her, yell at her, slap at her and she rarely loses her temper with him. The other day a show he was watching ended and a new one began. He was angry the show had finished so he threw the remote at Jessie's head. *sigh* Anyway, the epiphany. I realised I wasn't PARENTING him. It is MY job to get him up and dressed, fed and loved. No one else's. I got straight up out of bed, took his little hand and helped him get up and through the bathroom routine. I took both children downstairs and made them breakfast for a change. I spoke kindly to them and told them that I would be making efforts this year to be the Mummy. They really responded to it and the funny thing is, it felt right. It felt good and it felt right.
Stepping up to rather than side stepping my responsibilities. Look at me, I'm growing!