Saturday, December 1

AP Moment of the day ~Baby it's cold outside.

Parenting and everything else takes a lot more time and dedication when the temperatures start to fall. The very thought of taking a walk suddenly takes on new depth when you have to go through so many steps just to get out the door. One winter's day last year I thought it would be lovely to take the children ( and the dog ) out for a ride on the red plastic sled. I'd drag it behind me and they would ride together and we'd laugh and sing jolly songs........ well... it didn't quite go that way. Firstly we have to get out the door. In our house everyone has to pee before we go anywhere. ESPECIALLY if it's below freezing out. So everyone goes to the bathroom. Then we make sure we all have thick pants, socks, vests, shirts tucked in, boots on, gloves, scarves, hats, coats zipped up to chins. Sounds easy, right? It's not. Someone took off their socks and likely tossed them down the basement stairs. I don't know why, it's just what he does!! So we have to find the socks. Of course, as is the way with socks, once they have separated they tend to resist getting back together so you can only ever find ONE easily. The hunt is on until the sock is found OR Mother gets sick of looking and goes up to get a fresh pair. OK, so now the boy has socks. Beans... where are your boots? They should be right here by your coat.... what?? .... your bear was using one as a car??? well can you please go get the boots so we can go for a lovely ride on the sled in the deep and glistening snow??????? Now I have to get gloves on my boys hands. His fingers don't cooperate with regular gloves, they just never seem to go in the holes. Mittens are no good either, they fall right off again. Last year I found the perfect solution. Duct tape. I'm serious. I put a couple of pairs of socks on his hands and then duct taped the lot to the sleeves of his coat!!! Voila!!! His hands were warm and dry and there wasn't a chance he'd lose a glove!!!

Don't knock duct tape!! :D

So we have gloves on, we find the boots, we've all peed, we have scarves round necks, hats on heads, coats on, smiles on, dog lead on..... and we head out the door. The first thing that hits you is how COLD it is. It's MUCH colder out than it looks from inside. And the WIND. BLASTING from the north. AND... and... it's getting dark already. Yup. It's taken so long to get outside that now the sun is fading and once the sun goes down the temperature plummets. GAH!! Quick!! To the sled for our lovely little ride on the snow!! Come on!! It's not THAT cold!! What do you mean you can't feel your hands??? Clap 'em together a bit!! Come on it'll be LOVELY!! Look at the sun glistening off the snow!!! Wrap up in this blanket!! Pip Pip !! come on!!!...... We get them all bundled up on in a blanket on the sled..... I give the rope a tug and we're off.... we come away from the shelter of the house and, yup, there's the wind!! HOWLING at us. It tugs at our coats and hats and spits hard snow pellets in our tender faces. The kids hunker down more and start to whimper, just a little. I tug on the rope more and flip both kids off into the snow. They are so bundled up that they can't move easily and flounder like fish out of water, kicking their limbs uselessly until I hustle to pick them up, dust them off and ... sit them back on the sled. I know. What was I thinking?? I had the vision in my head and I just couldn't shake it. I dragged the poor blighters down the hill and back again thinking they must be having a really jolly time (!!) meanwhile I lose all sensation in fingers and toes. We make it home alive, thank goodness, and of course then have to spend a hurried ten minutes taking everything off again because once you get inside you then start to MELT you are now so hot!! Everyone sheds their gear only to leave it in a freezing cold, wet pile, on the floor just inside the door. ( have you noticed that if you track in snow from your boots you are guaranteed to step in it whilst wearing socks...?? Then you have cold wet socks on your previously warm feet?? It can frustrate one....!!! )

I realised that if it takes you twenty minutes to get dressed to go out, ten minutes to get undressed once you get home and you are out for only 15 minutes .... you're wasting your time and would be better set waiting for spring. Winter is best appreciated through glass!!

( Make mine a Gin glass....!!)


Mamaa said...

NOW you sound like your mother......!!!!! I like it!!! :) Mamaa xx

Alicia said...

We had a half inch of snow yesterday and the children celebrated as if they'd won the lottery. Mine are trained to know that mama will not duct tape them and pull them about! LOL Nope, they all scrounge for warm stuff and then settle for socks on their hands and fall out of the house in a gleeful, noisy pile.

Yesterday poor Jack came back with soaked socks on his bright red little hands and I blew on them and hugged him lots. Then Anna came in and asked if there was hot cocoa. Hot cocoa?! Where does she think she is, Tiffany's house?

"There might be, but I'm nursing a baby and not making any!". Oh, what a brat I am!

Hmmm.... the wheels turned in all 3 little heads and someone asked about hot apple cider. Deal. I stayed with a baby in arms and two little girls poured and nuked apple cider for all.

It's not laziness, it's the gift of self sufficiency! Really! ;)

Today we're supposed to get up to a foot and I imagine there will be lots of cold red fingers and howls. We're almost out of cider. Hmmm... I should be a good mother and make cocoa. I should pull them about on sleds. I should properly secure 3 sets of snow suits and coats, 6 socks, 6 boots, 6 mittens, 3 hats and as many scarves as we can find. I should go out with them and build snowbeasts and toss snowballs. Hmmmm. Taking bets now!

Gorgeous. said...

Maybe you could teach them how to make hot chocolate for YOU!?!? :D